Offline trixie64.miscarriagesupport

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332 12/14/09 13:43:11 12/30/09 18:15:44 08/08/08
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  1. avatar

    laura0905

    User Infostatus offline101 Points

    09/14/09

    Sandy, I've noticed that you offer support to everyone. God bless you for that. I read a post where you mentioned you were 43 and miscarried and decided against anymore because of your visit with a genetics doctor or counselor. I was wondering, I'm 37 and wondering if I might be too old. I'm the one who "lost the baby 3 times". Do you have any words you can offer about being advanced maternal age?

    sincerely,
    Laura

    09/14/09

    Reply from trixie64:

    Hi Laura,

    According to my genetics counsellor, there is a big difference between over 40 and under 40. She says that 40 is the new 35. My sister now has a healthy baby and she was 37 when Lauren was born.

    For us, there was about a 10% chance that we would have had a genetic issue. I believe that under 40 it's more like 3%. I think you can google the terms. Add to that that both my husband and I are engineers, and that my husband had just turned 50, and we were then also high risk for autism. Older men with older women produce more autistic kids. Scientific types married to scientific types also produce more autistic kids. Since our vision of a happy parenting experience didn't include autism or special needs, we decided against trying again. Difficult to make though.

    It's a very personal decision. For us, the 10% was too high. We framed it in the context of "would we let children cross the street if we knew that they had a 10% chance of getting hit by a car". We didn't stop trying until I was 38, and at that point we simply didn't prevent and by 40 I was telling dh he should get a vasectomy.

    Huge hugs as you wrestle with the decision. You may be able to contact your hospital and see whether they offer the services. But I suspect that there's also a lot on line.

    Thanks for the words of praise. It's so hard to know sometimes how to respond to some of the women since they're in completely different worlds, but everyone feels pain and sadness during these times and I'm adamant that I try not to let someone go unresponded to since everything gets taken so personally during the grieving process.

    Feel free to ask other questions any time. I wish you moments of peace in your decision whatever that may be.

    Sandy
  2. avatar

    gveriabo

    User Infostatus offline101 Points

    12/26/08

    Dear Sandy Thank you so much for replying to my post. It really meant a lot to have encouraging words from someone who knows what I am going through. Fortunately today I did not have to have D&E. Christmas Eve into Christmas morning I started to have everything happen naturally. I went today and my doctor did an ultrasound to make sure that there was no remaining tissue. It was the same room I was in when they told me that the baby had no heartbeat....it was all too much to take. Like you said, physically I am "ok" right now, but emotionally Im not sure where I am. Im trying to stay positive but can't see to get myself together. I have to return to work on Monday where a friend of mine is pregnant and she is 3 weeks ahead of where I would have been. Its going to be hard to have to see her and interact with her everyday. Any words of advice??? Thanks so much Gail Veriabo my email is [email protected]
    Original comment »
  3. avatar

    Becks

    User Infostatus offline101 Points

    08/25/08

    Thanks so much I had been taking vitamins and I have stopped and its a lot better I also got some Kytil which is the king against nausea.I got my first period today and thats awful ,just another step on the road to recovery x

    09/09/08

    Reply from trixie64:

    Hi Becks,

    Sorry for not replying to you sooner. I didn't realize that people could send private notes.

    Wishing you the best and a somewhat peaceful recovery.

    Lots of love,

    Sandy